


maybe we've already begun again

by vl19scriptfic



Category: Killjoys (TV)
Genre: Gen, anyway!! comic book parallels!, clearly im handling this all very well, this is how i cope with the s2 finale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-09
Updated: 2016-09-09
Packaged: 2018-08-14 02:06:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7994692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vl19scriptfic/pseuds/vl19scriptfic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Version 1 of a scene taking place after Johnny returns to Lucy and the team, following the finale of season 2.</p>
            </blockquote>





	maybe we've already begun again

Dutch stood with her back against the sealed doors of Johnny’s room, nearly frozen in place. Even the air on Lucy felt so different than it had in the past weeks. Something previously empty was full again, and something else previously full was now empty.

“You okay?”

D’avin’s voice shook Dutch out of her haze. She brushed a loose strand of hair out of her face, knowing her eyes betrayed her exhaustion, too tired to care.

“Yeah. Long day,” she said, and D’avin quirked his lip in a way that Dutch knew meant he agreed.

Johnny had been more silent since his return than either of them had ever known him to be. He seemed stronger and sadder all at once. He wasn’t the only one. They’d all gone through somewhat of a metamorphosis, fueled by loss and freedom and bravery and fear. But the last thing she’d ever expected was to look at Johnny and feel like she was staring into a mirror.

D’avin glanced past Dutch’s shoulder at the doorframe of the room beyond. 

“Kinda feels like Lucy’s calmer now, doesn’t it?” he wondered aloud.

Dutch rolled her eyes. “She’s a spaceship, D’av,” she said, as though that answered everything. “But yeah. It does.”

“I think there’s more to what happened to Johnny out there than what he’s telling us. Guess he just got back, but-“

Dutch met his eyes, and D’avin broke off. They both knew they shared the same worry. That Johnny had lost a part of himself in his absence that he would never get back. That maybe he’d walk through those doors in the morning and neither of them would recognize him.

“I don’t know what to say to him, D’av. I’ve never not known what to say to him, and now…”

“You don’t want to push him away,” D’avin finished, and Dutch simply nodded, grateful to him for understanding. She wondered if D’avin had ever thought his brother looked older than him. She wondered if he thought that now.

“You gonna do this with me?” Dutch asked, turning to place a tentative hand on the cool metal doors.

“Nah.” D’avin stepped back, still watching the closed doorway. “You’re better at this stuff than me. Just tell him- tell him I love him, okay?”

Awkward yet sincere. D’avin was consistently a bizarre yet comforting blend of the two.

Dutch gave him a half smile. “I will.”

The past weeks had been one leap of faith after another, and this was no exception. Dutch knocked softly on Johnny’s door.

A familiar muffled “Come in” sounded through the wall, and the doors slid gently open, just as they always had. Until today, this was the longest this particular room on the ship had ever been empty. Guests had come and gone, but the one room that had been off-limits was this one. It was shaped like Johnny, and nobody else would fit.

Dutch only allowed herself one further second of fear that perhaps Johnny didn’t fit anymore either.

John was sitting calmly against the backboard of his bed, staring off into some memory Dutch couldn’t see. There was an agelessness to him that hadn’t been there before.

“Can’t sleep?” Dutch could feel herself smiling as she said it, only half bothering to fight it. Familiarity surfaced in the strangest of places sometimes.

Johnny shook his head. “Sorry. It’s late, I- I didn’t mean to keep you or D’av up. There’s… a lot more we’ve gotta talk about.”

“I know,” Dutch said. “But we can do all that another time.”

“Do you think-“ Johnny began, but he stopped when he noticed Dutch’s gaze had skipped to the gleaming cover of the comic book on the bedside table.

“I thought you would have taken this with you,” she said, picking it up with the knowledge that in doing so, she was the first one to move it in over a month.

“I thought about it,” Johnny responded with a shrug. “I don’t know, I figured D’av might want it.”

Dutch glanced at him, a strangely fulfilling sadness welling in her chest. 

“Nobody’s been in here since you left,” she said, and her voice came out so much softer than she’d intended. 

John pushed a lumpy duffel bag off of the bed, his own hapless manner of inviting Dutch to sit. She did. The headboard was metal and freezing against her neck, and she welcomed it, letting the sensation thin away her exhaustion. Johnny cast her a sideways glance.

“You seem different,” he said, as if he was wondering aloud. “You and D’av both.”

“We are,” Dutch answered. “I’m learning how to be myself without Khlyen chasing me down. And with an immortal plasma villainess out there who looks just like me. D’av is just trying to figure himself out. You?”

Johnny huffy sigh was a mixture of relief and laughter. “Lots of long stories there. I’m not sure where to start.”

“Want to start by telling me where you got that?” Dutch said, raising an eyebrow and gesturing to the huge scar across the back of his right hand. It looked new.

“That, actually, is probably the longest story I’ve got,” Johnny said, glancing aside in consideration. “I should save it for tomorrow. Things are usually funnier with hokk involved.”

Dutch’s heart felt lighter than it had in ages. It was a new sort of lightness, a more experienced sort- but she felt buoyant all the same.

“I missed you, Jaqobis,” she said in barely a whisper, and Johnny looked at her with a soft yet goofy Johnny-esque smile.

“Yeah, I missed you too.”

His edges were somehow smoother and sharper all at once, and in his words, Dutch recognized the same lightness she felt within herself. And now she could name it as a sort of relief. He was still Johnny- still so much the person she knew and loved, despite the different history he carried now.

“You know, D’avin said to tell you he loves you,” Dutch added, and Johnny’s brow wrinkled.

“He did?” Johnny said, mocking surprise, and Dutch scoffed.

“You’re ridiculous,” she said, unable to hide her grin. She reached aside and picked the comic book up off of the table and opened it. “Now shut up and let me read.”

“Seriously?” Johnny’s eyebrow twitched in surprise.

Dutch leaned sideways against his shoulder, once again immeasurably relieved that it still felt natural. A routine woven so deeply into both of them that it was as easy as breathing.

“It’s okay that you’re different now,” she said. “That’s what happens to people. They change. Things change. But hey, not everything has to.”

“So you read Captain Apex, and I’ll read the Volubian princess?” Johnny said, and Dutch didn’t have to see his face to know he was smiling.

“Deal.”


End file.
